


Into The Woods

by ImperialRemnant



Series: Shenanigans of the Force Kind [16]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Finn writes fanfiction apparently, Gen, Multi, Other, Randomness, Still no idea what im doing, and most characters ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 02:59:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5317913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialRemnant/pseuds/ImperialRemnant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our Resistance Trio head out into the woods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into The Woods

**Author's Note:**

> "I'm not a nerd" I whisper, as I write Star Wars fanfiction where the first paragraph makes reference to the musical Into the Woods.  
> Any grammar errors/tense issues are my own. No idea what this is, but have fun reading it I guess.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. The Resistance base lay at the edge of the woods. And from this base, a young maiden, a carefree young lad and a childless pilot with no wife headed into the woods. But those details are hardly important. Rey, Finn and Poe had set off as they had to go and find the First Order, and spy on what they were up to, it had just involved going into the woods. Their way was clear, the light was good, they had no fear, no one should.

“The woods are just trees,” Finn said, noticing Rey’s worries.

“The trees are just wood,” Rey repeated. But living on a desert planet, well, she wasn’t quite used to it. “No need to be afraid here.”

“We’re heading to a glade here,” Poe showed them the map. Then he checked the time, “We can’t have a delay.”

“We’ll be careful not to lose the way,” Finn asserted.

“Who knows what may be lurking in here,” Rey jumped at the sound of a creature howling in the distance.

“We’ll find the order and it’ll make it worth the horror,” Finn grabbed her arm in comfort, he was there. It would be fine.

“To find Snoke,” Poe said, “and Hux and Phasma and Kylo.”

“To see what they’re doing,” Finn continued, “to get the Intel, bring it home, make use of it, defeat the Order.”

Rey nodded, “So just, into the woods, then out of the woods and home before its dark?”

Finn and Poe shared a look, “Maybe before it gets dark. No promises though.”

“Urgh, fine,” Rey replied, watching another squirrel run past. Why so many squirrels.

* * *

Finn was making large arm motions, retelling the story of his squad in the First Order coming across some sort of giant bear.

“So it roared at us, and I was like _I told you guys_!” Finn laughing as he finished. Rey and Poe were also laughing at his story.

“It reminds me of this one time,” Poe said, “When I crashed onto Yavin IV.”

“You crashed onto Yavin IV?” Finn asked incredulously, “Greatest pilot in the galaxy?”

“This was when I was younger okay!”

“How much younger?” Rey asked.

“Like last year,” Poe said with a snort.

They all started laughing again, unaware of the red eyes following them from behind bushes. Low in the branches, appearing ready to pounce. Yet, it kept its distance, jumping from large bush to large bush. Its eyes catching sight of the lightsaber swinging on Finn’s belt.

“...and it was like this giant lizard thing,” Poe was saying, “I have no idea, but then it chased me for like an hour!”

They all laughed, Finn and Rey teasing Poe for his carelessness, _and_ for crashing. Greatest pilot in the galaxy! Honestly.

“So where are we?” Rey asked a moment later, and Poe pulled out the map in response.

“Hmm,” he said, turning it, and then turning in different directions.

“If you’ve gotten us lost,” Finn started, but didn’t finish the sentence since he didn’t know what threat he could make.

“No, no we’re fine,” Poe insisted, “we just have to...um.”

“Um what?” Rey asked, hands on hips.

Poe appeared uncomfortable, “We might be a little lost.”

Finn took the datapad from his hand, “That might be because you’ve got the wrong map! How did you get a map of forests in Alderaan? That’s been destroyed for years!”

“What? No it’s not!” Poe insisted, “Look right there, does that say Alderaan to you? No it doesn’t.”

“You’re an idiot, it says Alderaan right there!”

“Both of you shut up,” Rey said, snatching the map from the two of them. Sure enough, she couldn’t understand much of it. She threw it away, and started heading into a random direction.

“Where are you going?” Poe asked.

“We don’t need a map,” Rey insisted.

“She’s right,” Finn said, looking giddy, “all we need is the Force!”

* * *

Sure enough Rey was able to lead them to the Order. They hid at the edge of the forest, peeking out from behind trees. There was a large clearing, in the distance a small hill where it seemed the First Order was gathering on to. They spotted Snoke quite clearly, being as large as he was. The Knights standing close by, and Captain Phasma with some Troopers.

“Wonder where our drunken General is,” Poe said, scratching his chin.

They retreated back into the forest so they could talk more about what they had seen, forming a plan on what to do next.

“We should contact the General,” Finn said, “Actually I’ll do it now.” He went to go and make the call.

“You know it didn’t look like an army,” Rey said, puzzled, “What did you think they were doing?”

“Kinda looked like they were ready to move something,” Poe replied.

“A new super weapon?” Rey suggested, “But, like, small scaled.”

Finn appeared just then, putting away his comlink, “She said we should stay put, do some more scouting, and then get back.”

And suddenly, both Finn and Rey could sense danger, Finn turning the lightsaber on, blocking a blaster bolt.

“Well, well, well,” A Hux appeared from behind the trees, “Kylo, take a look at what we’ve got here.”

“Well done Rivana,” the three turned to see Kylo appearing from behind the trees, lightsaber at the ready, being followed by some big-ass lizard. All black and no beauty. The lizard snarled at them, showing off its gigantic, pointy teeth.

 Finn faced Kylo, holding the ligthsaber, Poe towards Hux holding a blaster. Rey, staff at the ready.

“Well isn’t it two-thirds of our favourite OT3,” Finn said.

All tension and danger disappeared. Instead, confusion filling the atmosphere.

“Oh-tee-three, what does that mean?” Hux relaxed his hold on his blaster.

Kylo too now pointed his lightsaber away from Finn, “What? You ship? You ship _us_? With who else?”

“Well Phasma of course,” Finn said, “I mean, it was pretty obvious after Hux got drunk with everything he said.”

“THAT WAS YOU!?” Hux yelled out, mystery solved on who he had spoken to when he was drunk.

“You’ve been reading fanfiction!?” Rey asked Finn, then turning to Kylo and going, “You _know_ about fanfiction?”

“I haven’t been reading it,” Finn said, but then flustered and fell silent. Nobody must know of his writings.

“What the hell is fanfiction? What is this oh-tee-three you speak of!? What is shipping??” Hux asked them, then looking at Poe, “do you understand any of this?”

Poe gave a shrug, then said, “I know about fanfic, just not about shipping... no hang on, I remember now what shipping is.”

“They’ve been writing stories about us,” Kylo explained to Hux.

Hux couldn’t have been more confused in his life, “stories what stories?”

“Oh, send them to me!” Poe said to Finn.

Finn nodded, “yeah alright.”

“What sort of stories?” Rey asked, a little concerned.

Hesitant, but Finn answered, quiet “Smut.”

“What is _smut_?” Hux asked.

“Porn,” Kylo simply replied, unfazed. “Send them to me too,” he added to Finn.

“I uh, haven’t got your email,” Finn said to Kylo a little confused.

“It’s bestknighteva@sithgroupies.holo.gal”

“Hold up, I thought it was kylo.ren@firstorder.admin.com?” Hux pushed Finn and Poe aside, standing between them, but never once breaking eye contact from Kylo.

“Oh, but the sithgroupies one is my personal email,” Kylo told him.

Hux looked instantly betrayed, “Why don’t I have your personal email?” he sounded very hurt.

Finn looked at Rey, shaking his head, “lovers spat.”

Rey nodded in agreement.

The lizard, Rivana, let out an impatient roar but she went unnoticed.

“I’m sure I gave you my personal email address,” Kylo said, looking off into the distance. Perhaps in thought. Again those damn masks one could never tell the expressions of a person.  

Hux just looked away from Kylo, not believing what he was hearing. Didn’t have his personal email? By now he should have it.

A thought then occurred to the General. Hux looked at Poe, wondering if he should do it. Offering his hand, Hux said, “Hi, I’m General Hux of the First Order, how are you?”

Poe gave him a look of horror, but shook his hand and said, “Poe Dameron, pilot of the Resistance. I’m great, thanks for asking.” They knew each other already, what was going on?

“Do you come out here often?” Hux asked.

“No, not really,” Poe shook his head.

Now Kylo, Rey and Finn were staring in horror and surprise at what was unfolding in front of them.

“You have a nice face,” Hux told him, “and not covered up by a mask, that’s always nice.”

But no one could have been more horrified, confused, or scared as Poe was in that moment, “Thanks? I guess?” Although to be honest, he was also very flattered. Not that he’d tell anyone.

Hux looked over at Kylo, smirk on face, “What do you think, Ren?”

The Knight shrugged, looking away, becoming very interested in his hands, “Whatever, I don’t care.”

“Sure,” Hux said with a smile, not believing him.

Poe looked over Hux’s shoulder, addressing Rey and Finn, “I’m changing my Wed, Bed and Behead answer. I’m wed-ing Hux.” He regretted saying that immediately as Kylo and Hux now wanted the Resistance trio to tell them about _that_ and none of them were willing to talk.

* * *

Phasma waited alongside Snoke as they brought the rancor down. But she was starting to get worried about Hux, Kylo and Rivana. Staring into the forest, she decided they had been gone too long.

“Sir,” Phasma said to Snoke, “I’m going to go and find the General and Kylo.”

Too busy with organizing getting the rancor down, Snoke didn’t even listen or look at her, “Yeah, sure.”

Phasma took it as an okay anyway, ordering her troops to stay put and leaving into the woods.

**Author's Note:**

> Force, I hope that didn't get too confusing with all the characters here.  
> I had to do a Hux & Poe thing because of Ex Machina. Don't think it's going down with Kylo very well ;P  
> Thanks for reading! Leave a review and/or kudos! <3 :D


End file.
